Im sitting here alone at the hospital, waiting on this minor procedure to be done... The surgeon just came and informed me that i sold her on doing my actual surgery a week sooner that originally planned. Maybe I should consider going into Public/Motivational Speaking? Yeah right!
Anyway, im sitting here wondering why i choose to come alone? I didnt have to i just decided that im enough company for myself. My own thoughts, when not self destructive, keep me plenty company. Besides, i dont like for my friends to worry about me. Watching them pretend to be thinking positively and watching the worry lines develop in their forehead is more stressful for me than my own thoughts. The one thing i miss about being married is that i was allowed to be scared. He let me be scared and he was my rock. Now, im not allowed to be scared for myself, i have to be strong to keep everyone else together. In my own company i can shed tears and no one has to know. They will just see me in its conclusion and think to themselves "Wow, she's strong" and every once in a while i will stare in the mirror and think that same thing about my reflection. But only for that moment...
Sent on the Now Network� from my Sprint® BlackBerry
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